All I know is I was blind and now I see

So they again called the man who was blind, and said to him, "Give God the glory! We know that this man is a sinner."
He answered, "Whether He is a sinner or not I do not know. One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see."
John 9:24-25

What a testimony! This man was born blind. It had never before been heard of that anyone opened the eyes of a man who had been born blind (verse 32). Having been born that way, I imagine the possibility that he could ever receive his sight had never crossed his mind. He was aware of his infirmity but even more painfully aware of the fact that he absolutely had to live with it his whole life.

I am not alien to that state of mind. There was a point in my life when I looked at my situation, I saw my blindness, I was aware of it, but the magnitude of it was so overwhelming I couldn't see how I could ever come back from it. "Can God really fix this?" I thought. "Wouldn't He rather end this life and give me a do-over?"

Having re-committed my life to Jesus, I now understand that indeed I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who lives, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20). I did end that life and get that do-over after all. But did I magically transform into this person who had it made, with all the right attitudes and all the right habits and thoughts? No! I'm right at the beginning of my transformation by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2), something I put off for far too long. There's so much junk that God still has to sort through and I'm living my life today knowing that should I live to see the end of 2012 with it's goals and targets fulfilled, I will have only God to give the glory to.

I want the blind man's testimony! Some people will say, "Give the glory to yourself! You worked hard" or "Give the glory to your parents" or Give the glory to your discipline, focus or will power!" But I know it is not in my nature to be disciplined or focussed. At a point in my life when it is the most important for me to have it together, I don't! It is by the grace of God that I wake up every morning, struggling not to over press the snooze button; and that I go on my knees and cry out to Him to help me just to make it through th day.

Jesus has made the impossible possible. The Lord's hand is not too weak to save me (Isaiah 59:1). Something good can come out of the mess I made. I have already come so far. I may fail to explain my hope, I might not be able to use science or logic to justify it, but no one can dispute my testimony.
When I'm asked some day to give God's glory to anyone other than Him; should I be asked why, by the grace of God, I choose to seek and serve Christ everyday (yes I still have to make that choice daily) and get suggestions to put my hope in something else, I want to say, "Whether He is a sinner or not I do not know. One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see."